In Honour of Grandmother

On the occasion of Grandmother’s 85th birthday or perhaps 86th birthday, no one knows for sure, her children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, sister-in-law and close family friends gather to honour her. It is a special “baci” ceremony in honour of her life. For the past few months her health has been deteriorating and earlier in the week, she was hospitalized, having suffered from a stroke. After she returned from the hospital, the family decided it was important to have this celebration sooner than later.

The furniture in her eldest daughter’s home is cleared to the side of the large living room/dining room area and large mats are laid on the floor, in expectation of the arrival of the guests. When all the family members have gathered, Grandmother is invited to sit in a comfortable chair while everyone sits around her on the floor. In the centre of the group is the traditional Lao baci arrangement of orange marigolds, folded banana leaves, candles and various food items. Her eldest son leads the group in the singing and chanting of the Catholic “baci” ritual. Then one by one each of her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren kneels before Grandmother and presents her with gifts. She in turn blesses each one by saying a few words and stroking their heads with a small floral arrangement. Tears flow as family members show their respects to the matriarch of the family.

Following this the traditional white baci strings are tied. Now it is time for everyone present to tie a white string around the wrist of Grandmother and grant her good wishes and special blessings. As there are strings available, others choose special people to grant good wishes of health, success and happiness.

As I sit and observe this special event, I am blessed to be part of it. Grandmother has experienced many difficulties throughout her life, including fleeing from war; however, at this special time in her life, she is surrounded by more than 100 family members who respect her deeply. It is not a time to be quiet and talk in hushed voices so as not to disturb her, rather it is a time to celebrate and honour her life. At the close of the official ceremony, a birthday cake is presented to Grandmother and along with her 7 great grandchildren she blows out the candles.