Wedding Solidarity

Two months before the wedding weekend, we gather with the bride and groom to plan the wedding celebrations. The bride-to-be’s parents, older sister and husband, 2 younger sisters, maternal grandmother, maternal uncle and maternal aunt share ideas for the wedding. The wedding will include 4 celebrations: Catholic mass and refreshments; “wedding warming” the evening before the traditional Lao wedding; traditional Lao wedding Bacci and lunch; and dinner at a restaurant for approximately 700 guests.

What food will we serve? Do we prepare the food for the Bacci for 200 people ourselves or do we have it catered? What are the estimated costs? Who would each person like to invite to the celebrations?

These are the topics of discussion. As the conversation continues each family member is asked to indicate what they can contribute to the wedding celebrations? Someone agrees to pay for refreshments at the church. Another offers $300 US to be used in whatever way is needed. Another one offers gold jewelry. Soon everyone has offered their contributions in solidarity with the wedding couple.

Three days before the first wedding activity we gather again. This time almost everyone who lives on the family’s little street is part of the planning meeting. The oldest uncle guides the conversation and ensures each wedding event is discussed in detail. Responsibilities are delegated to each person present. My job is to greet the guests as they arrive at the dinner party at the restaurant, as one of about 15 hosts including parents, aunts and uncles.

The community works together in solidarity to prepare for the wedding celebrations:

Make pillows that will be given to elders in appreciation for their care of the bride and groom
Shop together for material for our wedding outfits including traditional sinh and silk blouse
Search for the wedding calf that escapes prior to the celebration
Go to Thailand to purchase the wedding flowers
Make the egg sandwiches for the Catholic Church reception
Set up tents, tables and chairs for the traditional Bacci celebration
Go to the market at 5:00 a.m. to purchase the food for the “wedding warming” and Bacci
Prepare the bridal bed
Wash the shoes of the groom as arrives at the bride’s house for the Bacci
Supervise motorbike parking
Serve a shot of whiskey to guests as they arrive at the restaurant
Guard the money box where guests deposit their contributions to the wedding costs

And then, in solidarity with family and friends we celebrate.